Musings of a rather confused mind...O_o

Ok so I know I suck and I really need to learn to update BEFORE the sun goes nova. But there is a good reason for my absence. I have been doing homework. Lots and lots of homework and trying to save my sorry ass from failing a class that I could teach better than my instructor. Which is why I was failing in the first place. But that is neither here nor there. The class is done, and I will have my grade soon enough.

When I was doing my research for the final paper I had to do for the class, I came across an interesting bit of information. My paper was a comparison of creation myths and I focused on the Norse and Christian myths, since they share quite a few of the same archetypal characters (which, for the life of me I could NOT remember the word archetype when I was doing the actual paper. I had to use the word stereotype or some shit like that.) and watching my very Christian classmates' heads explode when I was talking about my paper would have been great. Too bad my school is entirely online.

Over the course of my research I naturally had to do some research on monotheism versus polytheism and one of the papers I read to use as a source discussed the Isaac-slash-Ishmael-slash-Jesus conundrum. For those of us who are not familiar with the story, a brief retelling is in order. The Christians have Jesus as their slain god-son. The Jews have Isaac as the nearly-slain chosen son. The Muslims have Ishmael as the beloved son. They are basically the same character and they are all there to serve the same purpose. The three main monotheistic religions out there today (Christianity, Judaism, and Islam for those slow children in class) all claim to be "Abrahamic" in that they all trace lineage back to Abraham who also happened to be the father of BOTH Isaac and Ishmael. Ishmael was born first but that apparently does not matter.

The article tells of a story which is supposedly straight from the Bible (I really need to read it. Apparently more goes on there than any of the other novels I read) about an argument Isaac and Ishmael get into. The fight is about which of the two is actually more beloved to God. I can see that being an issue for the basis of the story. What I do not understand (and this could possibly just be because I am not a Jewish male) is why what they are choosing to be an argument has any standing whatsoever. The fight basically boils down to "I was circumcised by choice and you were not therefore He loves me more."

Wait, what?!

Ok, so following the logic, Ishmael (who presented that argument) made it clear to God that he loves Him more because at the age of thirteen he decided to have his foreskin removed. He should be the best because he chose to have it done and Isaac had it done when he was a baby and it was the parents' decision. I dun geddit. The article goes on to talk about how they compared scars to see who's penis was cut the deepest, and that is where I stopped reading because it was getting too weird.

So is that the ancient version of "who's is bigger?" For starters I do NOT get the reason behind that game at all and I have had many a fight with boyfriends because they want to see how they compare to other guys I have slept with. At the risk of sounding cliche and unoriginal, size really does not matter. Any woman who says it does has spent far too much time in front of the computer or the DVD player with her giant excuse for a vibrator.

Second, and again this is probably because I am not Jewish and do not understand the importance of it, is circumcision really that big of a deal? I have seen many a penis in my day and only one was uncircumcised. I do not understand the obsession with having a redundant part of the penis removed.

According to the very same book in which this argument took place, the only thing that made the two different in the eyes of the very confused (in my opinion) deity who demanded the death is name and mother. One was born to an Egyptian slave and the other was born to the slave's servant who was in her 50s and "divinely visited." That divine conception (seriously I think once the Christians came across the idea they felt the need to run with it) made the first wife out, the second wife in, and the whole family dynamic got rearranged.

Talk about needing a therapist. Or at the very least a visit to Jerry Springer.

None of this makes one ounce of sense to me, but that is the end of my rambling. If you have any advice/additions/what have you, leave it for me!! Hopefully I may be able to better understand all of this insanity....